Planning as Security Blanket

I love to plan. Once I realized how amazing plans were, calendars, markers, highlighters, and washi tape became some of my closest allies. Converts are always the most fervent.

In the last weeks of the semester, I had no plan and became a crazy person. Every time I tried to plan, there was nothing to plan and the calendar stayed empty and I became unhinged. If there was only a plan for life post-graduation, then everything would be okay. Stand-alone events slowly began to populate the calendar, but they weren’t a plan to follow or from which to deviate.

Today I read a short article at the New York Times discussing the necessity of quitting, stopping, shutting down. The author bailed on a marathon for which she had been training nearly a year after an injury which wouldn’t heal. She noted our culture’s drive to push on through discomfort and how unnatural it is. What caught my attention was the reference to Barbara Cecil. We cannot plan our way through a crossroads because alignment of our direction to current circumstance requires deep listening. Planning is declaring an intention.

School is over. There is time to do laundry, clean the house, and listen. The washi tape will be there when the Universe lets me know where I’m headed.

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