When I was 16, I almost killed myself because I couldn’t be who I was expected to be. Everything since has been trying to take another run at the Expectation Hill. Over the years, I would have flickers of sanity, small realizations that my parents were a bit divorced from reality for various reasons and that I didn’t have to accept their premises. Even then, I would keep returning to my list of “should”s. You have your own list. We will talk more about these lists and what they do to us and for us. It was very late in the game when I rejected their experience of me and their expectations of me which I had taken and made my own, that list of “should”s that rattles endlessly through my head. Everything filters through those judgments, how I view myself and thus how I view and react to the world.
Why would I accept their premise?
In my experience, the problem with trying to be successful according to someone else’s definition of success is… it doesn’t work. Because if it doesn’t fit who you are, even if you have checked every box you will feel off, discontented and disconnected from your core being. Trying to do it “their” way can seem safe. Well-worn paths, perhaps even with decorative lighting and emergency call-boxes can look like the way to go. That’s not to say those ways are bad, they are well-worn for a reason. To have the life you want, you have to
DO the things that are most important to you, every day.
- KNOW what those important things are
- CHOOSE between competing interests
- UNDERSTAND how those things support and nourish you
- KNOW who you are and WHY you do what you do
- ACCEPT your inherent worth
We are going to watch some videos, discuss big ideas, scratch at them to get what we want, and then get concrete about change, and practice being.