When we met last time, we watched the Tony Hsieh video and talked a bit about values. Today’s videos are short and selected to get you thinking about your values and how to capture them so they work for you.
First up, Simon Sinek discusses “filters” and decision-making. Our values are our filters.
Be authentic. Have integrity. My favorite Simon Sinek quote is
What you do proves what you believe.
You can’t do nouns.
What will you do?
Your values form a fence around your acre, described this way in Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott
…Every single one of us at birth is given an emotional acre all our own. You get one, your awful Uncle Phil gets one, I get one, Tricia Nixon gets one, everyone gets one. As long as you don’t hurt anyone, you really get to do with your acre as you please. You can plant fruit trees or flowers or alphabetized rows of vegetables, or nothing at all. If you want your acre to look like a giant garage sale, or an auto-wrecking yard, that’s what you get to do with it. There’s a fence around your acre, though, with a gate, and if people keep coming onto your land and sliming it or trying to get you to do what they think is right, you get to ask them to leave. And they have to go, because this is your acre.
As long as your actions stay inside the fence formed by your values, you are “in your integrity” and when you’re moving around in that space there are no better versions of you. There may be versions that are different, but they aren’t better.
I have no cool worksheet or handy-dandy process. There are always rabbit holes in which to disappear and this isn’t a once-and-done process anyway.
Think about someone you admire**
- What are they doing?
- How do they treat other people?
- How do they seem to make decisions?
- What exactly do you admire about them?
- How did they take care of themselves?
- What seems to bring them joy?
Think about how you are when you are content
- What are you doing?
- How are you treating other people?
- How are you treating your self?
- What was working in you?
- Who are you with, not just physically but emotionally?
Who ARE you?
How do you mean to be?
What is so important about how you are that you will be able to say “yes” and “no” with confidence to people and opportunities?
Use verbs. Go play. No whining.
**When we think about other people, we are really picking out the pieces of ourselves we like in them. You can’t know someone else’s motivations for anything they do. We aren’t mindreaders.