Week 4 : Day 1 : Dr. Henry Cloud,What they are not

Today’s video is a short excerpt from an episode of the Dave Ramsey show.

The caller’s question is “Can I have permission to never speak to my crazy mother ever again?”

Dr. Cloud very carefully makes the case for strong boundaries. When we draw boundaries, we are not “cutting people out” of our lives, we are setting the rules for staying in and allowing other people the choice to stay or to go. “If they are going to stay, they must follow the rules” is enforcing your boundaries.

How does someone have to treat you to be in your life?

What behavior is not okay in your life?

A good friend of mine has this down. She says “I love you. I respect you. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stand around during your foolishness.” All manner of foolishness.

The boundary in the phone call is a big one and involves a tangled, important relationship. We won’t wade in that far just yet.

What honors you? To what would you like to say “yes”? Write for a few minutes.

What does not honor you? To what would you like to say “no”? Write for a few minutes.

Keep writing, even and especially when your list starts to scare you. First, you might feel surprise, then fear, and eventually you will find joy

Keep writing. It will keep being scary and that’s okay. We’re only writing today.

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